Brain Drawing

 

Okay so not the best pictures in the world.  Not sure how to get them to show a little bit better.  I will be bringing the drawing to class so you can see it first hand. I have done this a total of 4 different ways to try and do a 3D brain and all of them failed.  I was so looking for a way to surprise you and do somethig different and this is what you end up with....a drawing.



National Museum of Funeral History

 

 

     

         I asked everyone in my family to go with me and not one thought it would be fun. I ended up attending by myself and at the last minute of course. I paid my entrance fee, inserted my coin and I was amazed.  The museum is exceptionally large, clean and bright. The Hearses are what you see first dating back as early 1800s. I looked around at all the different hearses, I started cry, realizing that someone who had passed rode in these vehicles.

 

        This is an extremely personal experience for me.  My oldest daughter’s father passed away when she was 6 months old. The sight of a hearse or the sight or sound of an ambulance tugs at my heart and brings back all those memories.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

The craftsmanship that went into making hearse’s back in the 1800 and 1900s is unbelievable. The men took pride in crafting these hearses that would be used in a time of hardship in ones lives. The hearse is the view point after all of a funeral and what great talent these men had to craft such beautiful hearses. Several of the hearses were remarkable. I have to say, I could not get over the detail of the Rockfalls Hearse 1921. This hearse is 8ft. in height, 19ft. in length and weighs 4,600 pounds. The craftsman used 6 types of wood to create such a master piece.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Interesting in 1916 the Packard Funeral Bus was built that held the casket in the front by itself, in the back were the pallbearers and 20 mourners. The bus was built in hopes of shortening the length of the procession line.

 

The owner of the bus lived in San Francisco and was climbing uphill to a funeral when the weight shifted back, pallbearers tumbled over mourners and the casket overturned. The bus was not used again and for 40 years was a ranch hands home.

 

 

Time passes and you can see the advancement of technology, in the engine and the body style we know today was being shaped. The cars are remarkable as well, just not as symbolic as a hand crafted hearse.

      

As Recnt as the 1950's it was still common for the funeral director to provide ambulance service as well.

This Studebaker Superior 1929 Hearse that was still in service in 1953 converted to an ambulance by simply removing the leaded glass panel inserts behind the driver.

       

 In the 1800’s each male that went to the barber shop had his own shaving mug with his name on it. The shaving mug belonged to the funeral director. Funeral parlors would advertise on woven fans that the ladies used in church, on their combs and their thermometors. Most of these items that were on display, we don’t use any more. Advertising, as with all things has changed in how funeral homes do business.  Commercials give the funeral homes a way to advertise too many people at once. The commercials like to target older people to take care of their funeral so not burden your children. In the 1800’s children did take care of their parents and made sure their funeral was taken care of.   

        Funerals use to be scared, a time for mourning for someone that you loved. Family and friends gathered to share stories and tears with each other.  Neighbors made sure that the loved ones left behind were taken care of. People pulled together and made it through. Now, funerals are so commercialized, that all that was scared has been taken out of it. The cost is so out of reach for many people that they go in debt just to bury a dead love one. People take advantage of your lose, sometimes, in hopes to gain a fortune. The loved ones left behind, most of them end up fighting over what was left and what they will get.  I feel that funerals always bring out the worst in people. Instead of supporting each other, families get ripped apart.

        Viewing the caskets was extremely interesting.

The money casket that was made
of acrylic in the 1970’s sends a strong message that money had become so important to people they wanted everyone to see just how much they had.

Here I am standing in front of President John F. Kennedy's look a like casket. I have read so much of about President Kennedy.  He is one man I wish I would have gotten to meet. He was just getting started in life when his was taken. Looking a pictures from President Kennedys funeral, everyone has such a blank stare on their face. Everyone was in such shock.

 

 

The Italian Renaissance casket was made in 1965 by only 3 men and it took them

 

an entire year.  The men hand crafted each individual piece. This casket is such an amazing site to see.  Here you can see that these 3 men had a love for what they did and wanted to keep funerals scared in the hearts of the loved ones.

 

 

The Cruciform Caset in the 1900's was the first to have squared ends and a religious oriented casket. They called it the “Common Sense Casket” because there was plenty of room for the shoulders and a wide part of the body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the largest caskets made was actually made for 3 people.  A couple lost their baby in 1930. The parents meet with the funeral director and told him their plans of taking their own lives. The funeral director had the casket made; the couple did not go through with their plan and moved to a different state. The wife wrote a letter to the funeral home 20 years later when her husband died asking for a refund and she was denied.

       

 

 

The most moving was the Tomb of the Unknown. To walk into its own little corner gives you a sense of reverence and respect. To watch the changing of the guard and hear that music, knowing those men gave their life for our freedom made me cry. That tomb is guarded 24 hours a day seven days a week. The soldiers take 21 steps, turn and face the tomb for 21 sec., give a 21 gun salute all of which is the highest military honor.

        Day of the Dead is from Oct. 31-Nov. 2 (All Souls Day). This is when family ancestors that have passed are honored by creating ofrendeas, also known as memory table. This table will have items that remind

family members of times spent together. Death is mocked with skeletons and skull candy. This day comes from Spanish conquest and the arrival of Christianity. Now children grow up thinking of Halloween as candy and costumes, not really knowing anything about the Day of the Dead. Once again it has become commercialized.

       

 

 

 

 Embalming started with the Egyptians and it took 70 days for the process.  The dead were taken to an embalming tomb where a table was carved in the manner of a lion.

 

 The table was in the shape of a lion because the lion was a symbol of protection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1861 embalming started during the Civil War. The soldiers were embalmed so they would be preserved for shipping back home.

       

 

 

 

 

 

 Funerals have made many changes in history. I feel that funerals were a passage to a better life and that the living respected the process of funerals. Funerals were a time for grieving and family pulling together. When looking at where we started and where we are now, I think it is a shame that we have put a dollar sign on funerals. It is such an impersonal process now. It is about getting the best for your loved one, being sure that you have bought everything. The loved one is dead, he really doesn’t need anything.  The people needing something are the people the loved one left.

 

Here I am standing in front of Ronald Regans casket, look a like.  I remember Regan and all he stood for.  I believe he was a great president.

Really, do you know how hard it is to take a good picture of yourself?haha

 

 

 

     The museum is full of information that one would never even think of. There is an entire section on the Pope's. I am not catholic and I have  a very strong reglious stance when it comes to the Catholic church that I choose to keep to myself. While there I did take this picture of how the  Pope is put on display for people to come and say their last good byes.

 

 

 When my daughter’s father passed away I was 26 yrs old. I had not even thought about death, where I wanted to be buried or how I was going to pay for it all. It was the worse experience I have gone through yet in my life. Going through that, I have bought me a plot to be buried in, picked out my headstone and casket. I have a living will and I have a “Do Not Resuscitate”. I do not want to be hooked up to a machine and cause more grief to my loved ones.  It is the people you leave behind you need to think of. They will be the ones that suffer and need some order and reassurance that they are doing the right thing for you in your death. I feel the easier we make it on them, the more smoothly things might run.

 Here are some extra pictures that I took that were very interesting.  Here is Marsellus Casket Factory, Syracuse, New York, 1900's.

 

Here is a Childs white hearse from the 1900's. This hearse is built smaller, used only for children and

this hearse is pulled by 2 men wearing black, not horses.

 

 

This picture is how in the 19th Century people mourned a persons passing.

People would go to the deceased persons house and pay their respects. All mirrors in the house would be covered and a draping of black cloth around the picture of the person who died. These days a funeral seems to be in a huge church with a lot of people you don't really know. When I die, I want a very small funeral at the grave site and nothing else.

 

 

 



Holocaust Museum

          This was my first time ever going to a Holocaust Museum. I thought I knew what to expect, I was not prepared for what I was about to experience. I was very moved by the greeting of the volunteer as we first walked in. Walking through those doors a very reverent feeling comes over you.

 

          The peer pressure from Hitler and the soldiers, that had already joined him, must have been overwhelming. I feel the older boys joined the army because they thought how great it would be to “stand up for our country”. As time passed the younger boys joined from peer pressure of the older soldiers and for the fear of what might happen if they did not. The pressure to fit in and the need to belong to a group played a big role in Hitler’s army. We see this happening still today.  Senior boys join the military because their friends are or because a relative is in the military. Churches are larger today more so than ever before because people long to be a part of a group or to fit in with their friends.

 

 

Hitler took a firm stance on punishing those that aided in the Jews escaping from Germany.   I feel at first most people didn’t really understand what was happening. When you listened to some of the people tell their story, they say the same thing, “We didn’t realize what was happening.” Once people started understanding what Hitler was doing, they started reacting with a sense of right and wrong.  Knowing they would be murdered, people continued to help the Jew’s escape the massacre that they were all living through.  

 

Hitler’s brain washing of these young soldiers happened slowly so by the time the soldiers were loading people on the trains, there was no sense of right or wrong.  The soldiers were doing what they were told to do.  The longer this went on the easier it became for the soldiers to murder any one that was in their way.  Hitler made the Holocaust out to be a great cleanse of Germany and that his soldiers were doing what was right by their country. Over time soldiers became conditioned to believe they were doing what was right. Soldiers did as they were told and did not question. People became tolerant of actions that they might not agree with in the beginning.  When an authority figure, like Hitler, is standing next to you dictating orders for you to carry out, you will to the full extent.  However, if that authority figure leaves one might not carry it out to the full extent because of feelings of wrong doing that come over you.  Most everyone is raised to obey authority and not question it. This is one reason why people following an “authority figure” do what that person asks of them. Once you start believing what you are doing is right, you don’t question yourself any more.

 

 

           Hitler had taken up all the radios so that Germany was cut off from the outside world.  The only thing they could listen to was the German stations so that they would remain unaware of what was going on in other places.  Controlling what they could listen to was yet another way Hitler had control over the people and their minds.

          I did find some pictures very interesting in the museum.  I saw a picture of Sigmund Freud. Freud was at the Tempelhof Airport in Berlin in 1938 where he flew to Austria.  I didn’t realize that Freud was a Jew.  One has to stop and think what would psychology be like if he would have been murdered? I also saw a picture of Albert Einstein with children and a letter to Eugene Kramon dated 1939 thanking him for all his help.  I think sometimes we forget how old Albert Einstein was.  I didn’t realize that he had any part of this.  We always talk about Albert Einstein but I don’t ever remember hearing of this letter of thanks. One fact that I found interesting was that all of Denmark’s Jews were rescued within three weeks by boat and taken to Sweden. It is amazing just how much there is to really learn.

 

 

 

This is one of the ships that was used to smuggle Jews to Sweden.  About 7 at a time were kept below in the very small quarters.

 

 

Walking through the museum as a mother I have a hard time understanding how people could shoot down a mother holding her baby close to her body. Understanding and learning more about psychology, I see how this can happen and why it still happens today. It does not make it any easier to realize that all these people died for a man with diseases that made him crazy, yet had the ability to pressure people into thinking they were doing right by killing all these people. We all think “How could they have done those things?” I ask myself, “What would I have done if my family was threatened?” If my family was in danger and I knew my family would be spared, would I follow Hitler? Seems an easy answer, history tells us differently and so does the human mind. 

I pray that as the new generations come along that they never forget the history of this planet of ours.  I hope that parents will bring their children here so they can see the pictures, hear the words of the people who have lived through such a hell on earth and actually stand in a box car with their eyes closed and imagine how it felt to be crammed in there for 2 or 3 days. May we be a little smarter and always live with our eyes wide open!

 

This picture is of inside one of the train cars that took people to the camps. I could not even start to feel what the Jews were feeling at the time this was happening.

         

Sleep Journal Reflection

 

Everyone has a different take on sleep and dreams.  I feel that everyone dreams, not everyone remembers their dreams on a nightly basis. I have kept my dream journal for 15 nights as we are suppose to and come to realize that our daily life affects our brain in our sleep. Your dreams are an extension of your daily lives and the life that you might day dream of having.

          Having an argument with my spouse, I will usually have a dream that illustrates the fact that we are not getting along. I do have anxiety issues so when I do dream my anxiety is very much apparent. Dreams simulate threatening events from our waking lives so that we can rehearse our responses to such events. Most dreams are indoors, although in this 15 night journal I have several that are outside.

          I have read that we only dream of people that we know, or have seen.  We should be able to recognize the faces in our dreams and since we see thousands of faces every day it can be limitless.  In my dreams, I don’t recognize who I am with most of the time.  I can’t see the faces.  If I am hearing a voice, I don’t know whose it is.  I find that extremely frustrating because I want to know who I am listening to and who I am with. 

          Some dreams make sense and some are so bizarre that I wonder where in the world my mind came up with that.  I do think that our state of mind before going to bed has a lot to do with how and what we dream. I know in winter I seem to have Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I tend to eat way too much and not want to leave my house. During those months, I do have crazy dreams and most are about food or have food in the dream at some point.

          Dreams do reflect some of our same thoughts, fears, concerns, problems and emotions that we have when we are awake.  I do think that our dreams are a reflection of everyday life and of our secret wishes of how we wish some things were different. I believe this because after reading my dreams you can tell what is going on in my life.  I do feel stuck in my life in some ways at this moment in time. My personal issues are endless when it comes to being a mother and wanting the best for your kids. I do think that dreams could be an insight to ones soul. I feel that we could learn something about ourselves if we looked into our dreams with an open mind.

 

Remembering Audra Paszkowski

Remembering Audra Paszkowski

Audra Paszkowski was born in San Antonio, Texas in 1968. She had no idea that she would experience living in so many different places. Audra’s father was in the Air Force, so they traveled a lot. When Audra was born her father was still in Vietnam. Audra’s mother moved herself and her brother to Clanton Alabama where they lived with her parents. Audra have lived in Fairbanks and Anchorage Alaska, Great Falls Montana, Clearwater Florida, Dallas, NewBraunfels, San Antonio, and Houston Texas just to name a few.

 Audra attended Lone Star College where she completed their Physical Therapist Assistant program and passed the Texas State Board! Audra’s love for people combined with her passion for health and wellness made it a perfect match. She said she wanted to help the aging and elderly live a better quality life for themselves. People were always asking her questions on diet, body pain, exercises and weight loss. No matter how busy she was she would help answer all those questions. Audra’s passion for helping people live a better live came straight from her heart of wanting more for that person. As a friend I remember her helping me on many occasions and you could feel her love and commitment to help you get better.

Audra’s home was always open to anyone who wanted or needed. Whether it was just stopping by to say hi, talk about your problems or come to a party, you felt the warmth in her home. Her neighbors loved her for all the mouth watering desserts she always baked and shared. Audra loved entertaining.  Missing out on one of her parties meant you missed out on an extremely memorable night. Audra had such a creative spirit and always took her entertaining to the next level. She was THE hang out house for children and adults.

 

Audra’s family was the most important thing to her. Audra would always say “My children are my life. I don’t know what I would do without them.” Audra passed along her love for the outdoors, camping, fishing, and the beach to her children. When her children were young and complained about walking somewhere or how hard life was, Audra would always break out the story of living in Alaska, walking to school in the dark, wind and knee high snow. She would remind them of the time she got chased by a moose in Alaska and chased by a dog in Montana. No matter what the complaint Audra had a story; you forgot your problem and were laughing at hers. Audra shared the same passion with her grandchildren as she did with her children. Audra was so involved with her grandchildren; it was as if they were her own.

          Audra had a bucket list and was bound and determined to cross most of them off before she got too old to do them or die. She started working on her list in her 30’s by loosing sixty-five pounds and running her first full marathon of 26.1 miles in Walt Disney World. That was an experience of a life time for her and her family. Audra, her family and her mother, Nancy had never been to Walt Disney World. Audra flew her mother in from Nashville to spend the week with them.  During their week there Nancy told Audra that going to Disney World was her first vacation ever in her life. How special of a daughter to share this experience with her mother. That is the kind of love Audra had in her heart. Audra accomplished a lot on her list, zip lining in Costa Rica, Red Wood Forest, Hiking the Grand Canyon, Statue of Liberty and Niagara Falls just to name a few. Audra loved exploring the USA. She was always in amazement when people would say that there is so much more to see out of this country. Audra always took her entire family on vacation. She could never image going on vacation without her children. Audra told me once, “I would feel guilty if I didn’t bring my children. I would truly be lost.” People would ask “What is your purpose?” Audra would always say without hesitation “I was put on this earth to be a mom. I feel I was meant to be a mother and I love it.”

        

  Audra’s true desire was for her children to have a better and greater life than she did. Audra enjoyed life and would always try anything once. She always called herself goofy and was not afraid of looking it. Audra even tried Zumba in her forty’s. Audra was not coordinated at all. Audra was always one not to have everything planned to the T, and she loved doing things on a whim. She is in a better place and feels young again in heaven. Yes, I believe Audra is still goofy in heaven and will be waiting on all of us. Remember all the smiles and laughs she put on our faces and that will help us get through this time of grieving.

         

 

 

My family and My Personality

My mother and I have done a lot of genealogy work on her side of the family.  It is amazing to see how your family was shaped and all they have gone through! My family from generations before me was not royalty or famous in any other way. They were people looking for a better way of life than what they had at the moment.  I believe they all had dreams, wants and desires, just like we do today. Theirs seem simple to us but in their time, it was a dream.

Hearing stories from my mother(that's her above) and father about their childhood and their parents childhood gives me a sense of who I am. My grandfather on my mothers side worked in a steel pipe yard.  He was cutting pipe when he cut off his ring finger on his left hand. My grandfather took care of all the money and the driving. My grandmother did not know how to drive nor how to balance a check book. Needless to say, my mother grew up the same way.  She married at 19 and she new nothing of finances, but she did drive. My father was in the military so my mother was very "comfortable" in her life. Things changed when my parents divorced. My mother not having any kind of education, never worked before and having 3 children was extremely frightening to her.  My mother never thought something like this would ever happen to her family.
 My Father's Father was a very hard working man and made my dad an his sisters work in cotton fields from a very young age. I have a very strong work ethic. I feel that even though my dad complained about what his father did to him, it helped him. My Dad worked hard at his job to achieve some of his goals.  I have worked since I was 16 and most times having two jobs at once.  I am not so good with finances like my mother and grandmother, another thing I have to work on.
 I am the first generation to attend College.  College was never mentioned in my mothers or fathers household growing up. My parents never said anything about College when I was growing up.
Growing up my mother always did what her dad said, never questioned anything and did average in school. My dad was more like a typical boy who was curious about everything.
Growing up for me and my two bothers was no fun. My dad was very mean.  He treated us like his father treated him. My dad was verbally abusive to us kids. He was always tell us how we would never amount to anything but ditch diggers. We were afraid of my dad growing up. None of us kids talk with him any more.  I think my mom was too.
My personality is a mix of my parents, their parents and my own will to change things for my own children. I am strong willed when I truly believe in something.  I will always stand tall for my freedom and my family. Being a military brat, God and Country come really easy! I enjoy challenges and I am willing to try anything once! I love learning new things about everything around me! The outdoors is something I hold dear and have passed that on to my own children.  Its important they understand nature and how to make quick, smart decisions.

.(This is my mother, me and my two girls.  

Lorna is graduating from high school.)

 I want my kids to see life a different way and not like I did or how their grandparents did. I think my family history and my own parents have shown me through example of how not to treat my kids. I started my children going to College Summer Programs so they know what College is and that it can be fun.
I hope I have broken that link that seemed to follow my father's side of the family. Mine and my mothers low self esteem, I don't want that to become any ones personality!
 My personality is a little of my greatgreatgreatgrandparents all the way to my parents. I hope I have kept the best ones and not so much of the "bad" ones. Every one's family molds them, its how we use it that matters.

Valentine's Day Nursing Home Visit

Me, Elizabeth and the rest of my family went to Cypresswood Health & Rehabilitation Center.  For my youngest two, it was their first time.  Here in the front, the residents that are a litlte more selfsuffcient are able to attend church and socialize.  As we walked around we meet all types of people with a wide range of issues. A patient "Mary" has been here since she was young.  Mary's parents have already passed away. Mary is mentally challenged.

Here our Professor is sharing her dog with the residents.  They have proven that bringing animals to let the patients pet is calming for them.  The calmness also brings along a reduced heart rate which is good for the ones with high blood pressure.  The patients also have interaction with something other than a human. Its not every day they get to see an animal.  This patient seemed to be very aware of what was going on around her.

I tried to get a really good picture of my professor but I wasn't quick enough.  I wanted you to see how cute and small her dog is.  Some patients might of been scared if it would of been a bigger dog. 

We meet this patient when we first arrived.  He was sitting by himself and we were talking with Mary. My oldest daughter looked at him and realized he was crying, she walked over to him, gave him a valentine and touched his arm.  My daughter told me was crying because he couldn't talk.  From observing him, he looks as though talking is the only issue he has.  He looked right at me, turns his head when you start talking with him.  Lifted his arm by himself.  Not sure why the wheelchair, but can you imagine being aware of all that is around you an not being able to express your feelings by speech?  What is more amazing is that my 19 yr old was aware enough to notice him!

This is Sarah, she is 94 yrs old.  She was at the second home next door to where we started.  She is amazingly wonderful! We spent a lot of time with her. She said that she just starting swallowing again.  She is very thin and seemed cold.  We gave her the blue blanket to help keep her warm.  She was so happy.  The valentine we gave her was the best gift though.  I think that the thought of giving away valentines is what made is so special.  Sarah seemed extremely aware of what was going on. She loves asking questions about my family. She did have a hard time with my name, but who doesn't!haha  When I asked if I could have a picture with her, she asked me, "Do I have my makeup on? My hairs a mess!" She was so cute. I told her she looked great.  She really enjoyed Elizabeth, my 8yr old.  Sarah's room was one that was nicely decorated by her family.  She has pictures of her family every where. At the end of our visit Sarah said "I am ashamed sometimes because I get so mad. The older I get it seems all the small things bother me. The staff here are so nice to me and never get upset. I don't mean to get upset with them. They are so good to me.  Don't get me wrong, I know I am blessed and that the Lord takes care of me. I am greatful for that."  So it kind of sounded like Sarah has maybe a temper issue that might be hard  for her to handle. 

 

 

I thought this was important to share.  A girl scout troop was at the home doing a craft with some of the patients.  Goes to show you that not all the patients in a nursing home are totally disabled.  As we saw first hand, there are a lot of them that can do things on their own. The sad part is that for most of these patients, no one comes and visits them and they are lonely. As we walked through the hallways and some of the patients were sleeping, deep down I was afraid to walk into their rooms.  I was afraid I might startle and awake them and that they might start screaming.  It seems that most of the female rooms were decorated and the male rooms were plain and not personalized at all.  What I found so sweet was that in one room there was a husband and wife! Their oldest son was there for a visit today as well.  There has to be some kind of comfort in knowing that both of your parents are together instead of having one take care of the other.  How sad it is for the sibling knowing that both of their parents are changing very quickly.

One lady in a wheel chair in the hallway would not take our valentine.  It was kind of funny.  We tried to give it to her and she handed it right back, several times.  On our way out we saw her again and she stuck out her hand.  We gave her a valentine and this time she kept it.  One man with a walker was going so fast, you couldn't get his attention long enough to say hi.  In the TV room, one lady kept kissing her cards as if that was the only thing she has ever gotten. 

I feel this visit has put back into our hearts the chance to serve other people.  My son who is 10, was very affected by it.  He actually started crying, realizing that one day, his mom, could be like this.  My sons heart was sad for the people there and for them not being with their family.  I had to explain to him why some families can't take care of their parents at home.  I thinking it was a great experience to see the different stages of aging.  Me and my family will be back.